Albion - Don Quixote

Warning: Contains spoilers from a 400 year-old book.

I’ve recently finished reading Don Quixote by Miguel Cervantes. It’s amazing how a novel so old can seem so fresh. I guess that’s why they call it a classic.

Anyway, the purpose of this post is to explore the similarities and differences between Don Quixote and my (as yet unwritten) Albion project.

One of my concerns going into Don Quixote was that I’d find all the ground I wanted to cover in Albion had already been done. Luckily I’ve found these two are not covering the same ground at all. In fact, I think they’re from opposite sides of the planet.

Similarities

Both stories are comedies about mad characters who embrace a chivalric identity – Don Quixote de la Mancha in Don Quixote and King Arthur in Albion. Both characters are so strong in their convictions that they are able to draw others into their madness: Don Quixote has his faithful squire, Sancho Panza; King Arthur has an entire town (and even a country in one iteration).

Differences

Don Quixote is a sustained work of satire. The intention is always to lampoon notions of chivalry by exploding them against the real world. Don Quixote holds up our romantic notions and asks: do these hold up when you test them against the way the world really is? Or are we just making fools of ourselves?

By the end of the novel, the romantic ideal of the pastoral life (a common theme at the time Cervantes was writing) is skewered in precisely the same way as the romantic ideal of chivalry. In Don Quixote, illusions mislead us into folly. Those follies are amusing for the reader, but are a warning against taking our illusions literally. Don Quixote is a comic novel with deeply serious intent.

Albion is more forgiving of illusion – in fact, foolishness is more likely to arise from being unwilling to embrace illusion. Albion is dealing with a world in need of romanticism. The spreading madness of the King goes to the heart of that – chivalry in Albion is an idea whose time has come. Romanticism may not be enough, but it’s a needed step.

And Albion isn't a satire. A comedy, but not a satire.

So ultimately I feel Don Quixote and Albion are quite opposite in intent and approach. Which makes me feel better - I’m glad I’m not in competition with Cervantes!

Albion - the 'Chekhov' version

INT. ERIC’S DINING ROOM - DAY

ERIC finishes a letter at the table. There’s an untouched plate of toast beside him. His mood is morose, gloomy. He wears a dressing gown and tiger slippers.

His wife GWEN runs in, adjusting her police uniform.

ERIC
Gwen.

Gwen kisses him quickly, dons her police cap.

GWEN
Writing?

ERIC
A little.

GWEN
Read it later, honest.

Gwen points at the toast next to Eric. Eric shrugs, passes her the toast. Gwen stuffs it in her mouth and bolts for the door.

ERIC
I love you.

Gwen turns, gives him a smile, goes.

Eric signs the letter. He places it in an envelope, leaves the envelope propped up on the table. The envelope is titled “For Gwen”.

EXT. ERIC’S HOUSE - DAY

Eric wanders outside, still in his dressing gown and slippers. He stops by the letterbox, breathes in the fresh air and sunlight. A flicker of enjoyment.

Eric notices the front door is still wide open. He glares at it. He reaches for it listlessly, he’s nowhere near.

Eric shrugs, giving up. He strolls past the letterbox.

EXT. MAIN STREET - DAY

The shopping district of Stafford. Eric wanders along, attracting surprised looks from fellow pedestrians.

A young mother JULIE drags her four year old son MAX across the street, away from Eric. Max stares at Eric in amazement. Eric waves at both of them.

LANCE pulls up beside Eric in a beaten-up truck, which takes up most of the street. Lance hops out. Eric walks on, Lance beside him. There’s a honking noise.

LANCE
Eric.

ERIC
Lance.

LANCE
How are you?

ERIC
Fine.

Lance doubts this. There’s another honk.

LANCE
Haven’t seen you in a while -

ERIC
(firmly)
I’m good.

LANCE
(relieved)
Okay then. Later!

Lance waves, rushes back to his truck. Eric smiles, shakes his head, walks on.

EXT. BRIDGE - DAY

Eric stands on the narrow railing of the town bridge.

The river rushes below.

Eric closes his eyes, prepares to jump.

PETE (O.S)
Mind if I watch?

Eric opens his eyes. An elderly man, PETE, leans against the railing beside him.

ERIC
What?

PETE
I’ve never seen anyone commit suicide before. (beat) That is what you’re doing, right?

ERIC
Yes.

PETE
Good.

ERIC
Why is that good?

PETE
I’m sure you’ve got your reasons.

Pete waits. Eric hovers on the edge.

Eric prepares to jump, but he’s too conscious of Pete.

ERIC
(gesturing at Pete)
Do you mind?

PETE
No, of course not.

Pete takes a few steps back, continues staring intently.

Eric tries again, gives up.

Eric steps back off the railing. Pete’s disappointed.

ERIC
I can’t.(beat) Not yet.

PETE
Take your time.

Pete passes Eric a bottle of bourbon.

PETE
Help you get your courage up.

Eric tries it, screws up his face.

PETE
Now, leaping off a bridge has got to be better than that.

Eric nods.

PETE
So what is it? Cancer?

ERIC
No.

PETE
Incest? Adultery?

ERIC
I’m holding my wife back.

PETE
You hate her.

ERIC
I love her. But I’m a loser. I haven’t had a job for a year. I do nothing all day. I used to dream about writing, but I can’t. I’m useless.

PETE
Alright then.

ERIC
I can’t even kill myself.

Eric is in despair. Pete puts his arm around him.

PETE
Nonsense. You’re putting yourself down. You don’t believe in yourself.

ERIC
I don’t. You’re right.

PETE
And there’s your problem. The man I saw standing on top of that bridge knew the meaning of action. He was willing to look life in the eye and say stuff it.

ERIC
True.

PETE
Every decision you make is in your hands. You make the difference. Don’t worry about me or anyone else. Just do it.

ERIC
Absolutely.

Eric picks himself up.

ERIC
What was I thinking? Thank you.

Eric walks off. Pete watches him go, disappointed.

PETE
Damn.

EXT. ERIC’S HOUSE - DAY

Eric whistles as he passes the letterbox.

He pauses to enjoy the sunlight on his face.

Eric strolls through the still-open front door.

INT. ERIC’S DINING ROOM - DAY

Eric ruefully observes the letter he left for Gwen. He reaches out to pick it up.

There’s a SQUEAKING sound. Eric looks up.

A heavy-set man, GRAYSON, watches Eric from the doorway to the lounge. Grayson hefts a mostly full rubbish bag in one hand, and carries a video under the other arm.

Grayson drops the rubbish bag and places the video aside.

Eric steps back, puts his arms out. He doesn’t want trouble.

Grayson impassively walks toward Eric, slides by him. Eric cries out in pain. Grayson vanishes out the front door, pulling it shut behind him.

Eric finds a knife protruding from his abdomen. He stares in it in disbelief.

Eric stumbles for the phone, misses it. He falls to the ground.

Silence. Beat. Beat. Beat.

The sound of the front door being unlocked.

Gwen saunters into the room, oblivious.

She spots the letter on the table, opens it, begins to read. Her calm expression turns to horror.

GWEN
Oh God!

Gwen stumbles away from the table. She sees Eric lying on the ground with the knife sticking out of him.

GWEN
(even more horrified)
Oh God!

EXT. MAIN STREET - DAY

An ambulance zooms through the busy street. Max stares at it in amazement.

INT. SURGERY - DAY

The hospital doctors rush to save Eric’s life.

A nurse bustles Gwen out of the surgery room.

GWEN
How is he?

The nurse grimaces, shuts the door on Gwen’s face.

EXT. GARDEN - DAY

Eric walks out of darkness into a beautiful garden. In the centre of the garden is a pond. Gwen stands in this pond, dressed in flowing white lace.

Gwen smiles, welcoming. Eric walks towards her.

INT. SURGERY - DAY

Eric’s heart monitor stops. The doctors struggle to resuscitate him.

EXT. GARDEN - DAY

Eric crosses the pond to reach Gwen. The water barely covers the tops of his shoes.

As he reaches her, Gwen stretches out her arms and offers him a sparkling sword.

Eric takes it from her hands, examines the blade.

Abrupt cut to black.

INT. SURGERY - DAY

Eric’s heart monitor reveals life signs. The doctors congratulate each other.

Fade out.

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY

Gwen marches along the corridor in civilian clothes. She looks expectant, and carries a large book.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

Gwen enters Eric’s hospital room. Eric is propped up in bed, and looks much recovered. He smiles at her.

ERIC
Hi.

GWEN
Hey.

She kisses him. He returns the kiss with interest.

ERIC
(spies the book)
You brought it.

Gwen passes him the book, an illustrated tome on the adventures of King Arthur.

GWEN
Yeah. Mind telling me why?

Eric flicks through the book. He settles on a page.

ERIC
(triumphant)
Ah. There it is.

GWEN
What’s going on, Eric? You said you’d tell me once you got the book.

Gwen sits beside him, takes his hand.

GWEN
It’s like you’re hiding something.

ERIC
Alright then.

He shows her a picture in the book. The sword Excalibur being held aloft, sparkling.

ERIC
It’s the one I saw.

GWEN
Near death experiences produce -

ERIC
It’s the same one, Gwen. That shows I was brought back for a reason.

GWEN
Sure, for us.

ERIC
Definitely. But more than that.
(reads from the book)
“The once and future king will return when the people need him.”

GWEN
Who?

ERIC
Your name’s Gwen. My best friend’s name is Lance. Lancelot.
(leans in)
I am King Arthur.

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY

Gwen sits with her head in her hands.

She’s tapped on the shoulder.

Gwen looks up to see two plainclothes CIB cops, JARROD and MORGAN.

GWEN
Oh. You.

Jarrod and Morgan smirk at each other. Gwen stands.

GWEN
Eric’s indisposed right now.

JARROD
We’ll need to start on his case as soon as possible.

MORGAN
Someone has to get some work done.

GWEN
Well, let me know if it’s you.

JARROD
Don’t get us wrong. It’s good that you’re here for Eric. Best place for a woman really.

GWEN
What was that?

JARROD
I said -

Gwen cleanly punches him in the throat.

INT. POLICE DISTRICT COMMANDER’S OFFICE - DAY

WARREN, the older district commander watches Gwen play with a pen.

Warren waits for her to speak. Gwen looks up at him. He smiles. She continues playing with the pen. Warren’s disappointed, is about to speak.

GWEN
Yes?

WARREN
(blurting it out)
I’m just worried things are getting on top of you in Stafford.

GWEN
We’re fine.

WARREN
Tell me what I can do to help.

GWEN
How about another three sworn officers?

WARREN
Yes, that’d be nice. But -

GWEN
Alright, an admin assist?

WARREN
That’d be nice too -

GWEN
Can I keep the pen?

WARREN
No.

Gwen stands, prepares to leave.

GWEN
Thanks for your help.

WARREN
(frustrated)
Just keep that temper under control.

GWEN
Is that an official reprimand?

WARREN
Of course not -

Gwen leaves, shuts the door. Warren fumes. He throws the pen against the closed door. The pen breaks. He fumes some more.

.....

(Sorry folks, that's as far as I got...)

Albion - The ‘Meet the Parents’ version

Tash and her girlfriend live in the big city together. The girlfriend (I can’t remember her name – let’s call her Megan) wants the two of them to get serious. The problem is, Tash has never introduced Megan to her family. In fact, she never talks about them. From where Megan is standing, this is a serious case of someone not wanting to come out of the closet.

Megan lays an ultimatum on Tash – if they’re going to have a future together, Tash has to introduce Megan to the family. This is the day Tash has always dreaded, but not for the reasons Megan imagines.

Tash is actually the daughter of the ‘famous’ King Arthur, a nut who has been causing a real stir in the small town of Savage. Tash is terribly embarrassed by her family, and just wants to disassociate herself as much as possible. Relieved that she was wrong, but recognising that there's still some stuff here to sort out, Megan persuades Tash to take her to meet the parents.

Upon arrival, it’s very clear that the town of Savage is going weird. People are polarised between supporting ‘King Arthur’ and opposing him. All of them take him seriously, which is the weirdest thing of all as far as Tash and Megan are concerned.

Tash introduces Megan to 'King Arthur' and 'Queen Guinevere'. She doesn’t introduce Megan as her girlfriend, re-igniting Megan’s annoyance at Tash’s avoidance. Megan also meets Sir Jeremy, a member of the inner circle of the Round Table and Tash’s old boyfriend from Savage College. All of Tash’s secrets are coming out…

Where does it go from there? I’m not too sure, having to re-create this version from my memory. (It never got any further than the outlining stage…)

The King approves of a union between Tash and Sir Jeremy, and he and Queen Guinevere are working to make that happen. Tash isn’t willing to tell her parents where she really stands, when leads to Tash and Megan fighting, which drives Tash towards Sir Jeremy – who is a pretty good guy.

The main question of the script was whether the spell of King Arthur and Albion would fall on our two main characters, and whether Tash would get honest with her family, with Megan, and herself. It was really pitting honesty and modern day values against cultural expectations.

Why did I abandon it and move on?

I felt this version wasn’t quite right and there was something better out there for the idea. I also suspect I felt it was moving too far away from the original idea, and not focused enough on Arthur.

Ironically, I was probably drawn towards this version because I felt it was difficult to draw Arthur’s psychology, and there was an appeal in keeping him at a distance. I think I’ll blog more about that tension about the distance at which to view Arthur in a later post.

Albion - the problems with tone (or "How funny is madness anyway?")

One of the big problems I struggled with over Albion was tone.

In fact, if there's one thing that differentiates the versions of Albion in my head, it's the different tone to all of them. That tone basically runs the continuum from comedy to drama, and all those colourful spots in between.

The first version of Albion tried to mine comedy from the premise (using slapstick and a sense of the ridiculous), but was ultimately aiming to be an uplifting drama. The King himself summed up this attempt very well - he was a comic character initially, but still a man who could change the world.

Other versions took different tacks to him and the concept. Is the King comic, dramatic, or comic-tragic? Is his madness serious, or humourous, or both?

Trying to reconcile the tone between comedy and drama did take me down some fun roads.

Anton Chekhov is my favourite writer for combining the comedic and the tragic, and walking the knife edge between those two emotions.

One of my favourite versions of Albion (which I hope to post up in its entirety) was what I call my 'Chekhovian draft'. Basically I'd just read all five of Chekhov's major plays and was super-inspired by him. I rushed off the computer the next day and knocked off ten pages of script. The next day, the Chekhov inspiration wore off, and I abandoned the script.

I don't know whether it captured that Chekhovian tone - you can judge for yourself - but I did really like what I'd written. And going back to it recently, as a part of researching for these blog posts, I found I still liked it. I didn't really see the Chekhov so much, but I did like what was there.

So that was a cool experience!

Albion – the first version (5 of 5)

Why did I move on so fundamentally from this first version?

I realised that the script didn’t work. I knew it wasn’t working after I’d given it to at least one reader who gave a reasonably polite assessment, but really wasn’t enthused. I wanted her to love it, and her ‘ho-hum’ response was pretty telling.

The concerns I think I had at the time:

• Questioning whether Albion really was a better place. I’ve mentioned in an earlier post that I was looking for Albion to truly be a better society, and what I’d presented here didn’t really seem to do it. There’s a scene where two ‘peasants’ are effectively arguing what the standard measurement for rope is, and the King has to make a decision… That didn’t really seem an improvement on our world.
• The script is overlong and overwritten. It’s 123 pages long and not formatted like a normal script. It would probably be about 160 pages long if properly formatted. For non-screenwriters, that’s very long as the rule of thumb is one page equals one minute of screentime.)
• There’s a lack of subtext. Everyone pretty much says what they mean.
• The events were large-scale and felt unreal. In particular, the King taking over the entire country felt too big.
• I realised that the characters needed more depth.

My solution to these perceived problems was to throw the entire version out the window, and try to come up with a whole different approach to the story that solved them all.

So there’s an insight into my personality!

Albion – the first version (4 of 5)

So, the flaws of this version of the story...

First, the story doesn’t take its characters seriously enough. The characterisation is slim. One of Tash’s only traits is that she always takes black coffee (after all she’s a reporter...) with three sugars. There’s a significant moment when Tash sides with Quillian when she rejects the sugar in her coffee - “I’m sick of sugar”!

Bigger than this, the characters are lost inside the transformation of Eric. It becomes entirely unclear who some of these characters actually are after they’ve been influenced by Arthur. Not only do they begin talking like Arthurian characters, they seem to have lost their identity. Admittedly this is a relief in some of their cases - the behaviour of his family and Lance at the beginning of the story is so despicable that I feel the best thing Eric can do is get some distance on these people… Subliminating their personalities is one way to do that, I suppose.

If I were to approach this story again, I would take the characters’ transformations as the basis of the story, and in particular the conflict of the Eric/Arthur identities.

Second, there’s a strange structural note where a partial transformation takes place, then leading to a full case of madness and identity transformation. The partial transformation is effectively the end of the story – Eric has successfully integrated charisma and ‘magic’ into his everyday life. The rest of the story basically loops back to that point.

I think I could improve this story structurally, and that's one of the things I'd be aiming to do.

Third, the power of the King. The effect of King Arthur seems to be that people just love him, far in excess to anything particular we see him do onscreen. His effect needs to be justified more – why would normal people abandon their lives and change course so dramatically. The answer seems to be charisma – which ultimately isn’t the best of all answers! Charisma doesn’t feed your kids…

I’m not so interested in portraying the perfect society now, but I am interested in exploring how the King is able to transform others. This would make for really interesting material if the transformation(s) felt truly motivated.

I’ll end my analysis of the first version with my next post, asking why did I move on from this version?

Albion – the first version (3 of 5)

Actually, weirdly and unexpectedly, I like this first version.

The simplicity of the story is a joy. It knows what it’s going for, and it simply goes for it. Recently I’ve been exploring breaking a story down to sequences (with Hix funnily enough). Breaking this story down to its sequences is very revealing.

Looking back over this draft, its hardly surprising that when I think of Albion, I usually think of this version, and not just because it was the first. I feel like picking up this draft again and seeing what I can do with given the benefits of distance and 11 years experience.

I like its build. I like the sweep of the story – it feels epic. I like the movement from disregard to respect on the part of the family and other characters. I like the rejection of Eric by this new personality of Arthur. I like the idea of the ultimatum from the outside world, and the King turning it back on the outside world. I like the march to Parliament.

I was coming back to this draft as a point to measure progress from. I was pleasantly surprised to find how much I liked it, and how much I was willing to forgive its flaws.

And its flaws are pretty significant.

Albion – the first version (2 of 5)

The Outside World Retaliates (page 68)

The Business Round Table! (led by business star Quillian) conspires against the new state. Their agent, the local MP Maningrey, enters Albion, and we see how much the town has transformed and abandoned the conventions of the outside world. Maningrey issues an ultimatum – the new kingdom has two weeks to disband or force will be used by New Zealand to restore democracy. The King responds that in two weeks New Zealand will no longer exist.

The Struggle For Wider Control (page 72)

The King and the people of Albion march on Parliament, building an immense groundswell of support as they go. There’s a garden of Gethsemane scene where the King fears his course will lead to violence, and Lance reassures him. The expected violent clash does not occur, given the King’s overwhelmingly popularity. The Prime Minister (Winston Peters!), Quillian, and Maningrey bend their knee to the King, but obviously they have other plans…

Cracks in the Regime (page 82)

The King is now the status quo and wildly popular. His enemies are faced with a problem: how to get rid of the King without doing it openly. Luckily, the King’s friends are doing a good job of screwing things up themselves. Shelly and Jeremy conspire against each other. Shelly drives away Tash, who sides with Quillian. The Eric/Arthur divide comes to a crisis, and the King questions whether Gwen would love him as Eric. The King disappears, leaving Lance nominally in charge while Shelly and Jeremy duke it out for succession.

Integration (page 106)

Tash leaves Quillian, finding his wicked ways not to her taste. Gwen and Tash team up to find Eric/Arthur, who has returned to the old car yard. Gwen tells Eric she does love him without the King Arthur trappings. An invigorated Arthur returns to Parliament to claim his throne, bypassing his enemies who are waiting for him. He reveals himself at a press conference, only to renounce his throne and his identity as King Arthur. Plain old Eric is good enough.

Coda (page 118)

Flash forward a year, and everyone has improved their lives. Eric is back to reading stories at the library, but they’re his stories now.

The End (page 123)

Albion – the first version (1 of 5)

Well, actually the second reformatted draft from 12 August 1997, according to a note I found attached to the script from Hix.

This version of Albion we worked on together, so I want to acknowledge his script credit here. And I’ve also run my comments about this first version under his nose before publishing them here.

I thought I’d summarise this first version of Albion over two posts (at the risk of boring you all!). The following posts will analyse it.

Set-up (page 1)

Eric is an aspiring writer and particularly poor car salesman working in a yard run by his childhood ‘friend’ Lance. Eric’s on the verge of being fired and his wife Gwen is having a sleazy affair with Lance. His kids (twins Shelly and Jeremy) have no respect for him. The one bright spot in Eric’s week is reading stories at the library, especially from a book about King Arthur. The town reporter (Tash) reluctantly covers his efforts, as she’s unable to get the big story (a brewing fight between a local gang and the Mayor).

The Transformation – Partial (page 24)

Eric cracks under the strain. At his lowest ebb, a mystic moment occurs as he withdraws a key from one of the cars in the car lot (the Sword in the Stone). Eric’s charisma and inner confidence are transformed: he starts selling cars, he manages to get Tash an interview with the gang, he makes love to his wife... Eric is confused by what’s happened to him (though interestingly he seems to have sorted out all the problems of his life…) He seizes on the book of Arthurian tales to explain things.

The Transformation – Full (page 33)

Tash comes calling for Eric, interrupting Gwen, Jeremy and Shelly at breakfast. Jeremy is smitten with Tash. ‘Eric’ descends from the bedroom and announces himself as King Arthur, astounding everyone. Arthur shows his full transformation by sealing a peace between the gang and the Mayor, heading off the looming confrontation.

Development of the Transformation (page 47)

Arthur becomes a community co-ordinator, working with the gang with the Mayor’s mandate. His initiatives start to transform the town for the better. The gang turns to good deeds, such as (literally) helping little old ladies across the street. King Arthur and the town become a focus/running joke on the national news. Gwen chooses Arthur, rejects Lance, and wants to tell Arthur/Eric about the affair. Arthur rejects the Eric personality – he is no longer Eric, so the past is truly the past.

Control (page 66)

The town council steps down in favour of the King. The King’s first announcement is the succession of the new kingdom of Albion from New Zealand.

Albion - the once and future script?

Albion is a story of a modern-day King Arthur. Set in small-town New Zealand, it's the story of a nice guy and common man transformed into a visionary leader. The nice guy (Eric) starts behaving as if he is King Arthur reincarnated, and the various characters around him either believe him or try to persuade him of his insanity.

Eric is crazy, but that’s not the point. His craziness is useful and liberating – it shields him and others from a hostile world and gives Eric purpose in his life.

In some ways, Albion is a modern Don Quixote, but with more respect for the knight – the feeling that chivalry has good points as well as being foolish. Or maybe think Lars and the Real Girl, but with King Arthur instead of a blow-up doll.

At heart, Albion has always seemed a simple idea to me.

Hah to the idea of a simple idea. Nothing else has haunted my scriptwriting career quite like Albion.

Part of that is when I started it. Albion was one of the first scripts I wrote an actual draft for, begun around 1997.

Like several scripts in the 1990s, I wrote it with Hix – at least, I wrote the first draft with him, and always kept him appraised of the current state of play. (I greatly enjoy collaboration, though I have been a major pain in the neck to work with at times. But I want to talk more about collaboration elsewhere, so I’ll keep this series of posts to Albion.) Hix, if you want to comment during this series about your experiences with Albion, it'll be great to hear them.

Another reason that Albion haunts me is I feel I never quite nailed the tone – except in one notable semi-draft. Achieving the right sense of tone is much more difficult than I ever bargained on.

And part of it is something I discussed in this blog earlier – an ability to shift the goalposts of what the project actually was, so I never managed to fulfil my current level of ambition.

In future posts, I’ll go into some of my takes on Albion to both show the evolution of the idea, and key problems I was struggling with it.